15 Sexist Things Said To Women That Defines The Existence Of Patriarchy

We live in a sexist and patriarchal society where women are taught to suppress their own voices. They are often controlled, subjugated, and sometimes treated like a man’s property. Though people are trying to be open-minded and accepting of certain things, still there are some people who cannot let go of the age-old customs and remarks.

Here we have a few sexist remarks which are still used widely and women are tired of hearing:

1. You’re marriage material

Whenever a girl is invested in her partner, she is typecasted as marriage material. The term “material” itself is objectifying and can never be considered a compliment.

2. Bhai ki bandi

As soon as you get in a relationship with a guy, getting addressed as “bhabi” or “bhai ki bandi” is very common. Well, guys, we would like to be called by our own names, just because we got into a relationship doesn’t mean we are ready to lose our identity. Especially when we are not your better half yet.

3. Pati parmeshwar hota hai

When one person involved in the relationship is promoted to a God-like status, do you really think the couple can still be considered equals? A husband is our companion and shouldn’t be perceived as a god. Why such double standards?

4. Shaadi k baad to naam badal jayega

Women are sometimes forced and made to step out of their will to change their surnames after they get married. It should always be the wife’s call, whether she wants to replace her surname with her husband’s after marriage or not.

5. Ek din to sasural jana hai

After marriage, the custom has always been that the girl shifts to her in-law’s house and has to start a new life there. But why is it just the girl? Seems unfair right?

6. Beti toh paraya dhan hai

The parents of a girl are supposed to consider that their daughter is someone else’s property. The age-old remark is not only sexist but also meaningless. The parents are not supposed to bring up their daughters by keeping in their mind that their baby is going to be estranged from their families one fine day.

7. Pati ki khushi mein hi aapki khushi hai

Just the thought of this comment is unhealthy. Every individual has different aspirations, dreams, and sources of happiness and to link one’s happiness to another is pointless.

8. Kya maal/item hai!

Men referring to women as “things” is one of the most blatant, not to mention revolting manifestations of dehumanizing. If you believe this remark and objectification is limited to eve-teasers, you are mistaken. Even one of our country’s leaders, Kamal Nath, reportedly used this phrase to call out a female politician. This is how patriarchal our society is.

9. Bandi/Biwi hai meri, haq banta hai

No. Certainly not. Men cannot proclaim to have the ‘right’ to own or control another person. Enslavement, not love, is what that is. Please don’t dismiss such comments as romantic. Statements like this pave the door for horrible crimes like marital rape, which, by the way, is still legal.

10. Thoda saja sawara karo/Wear some jewelry na!

Ladies of the house are frequently requested to doll up to look pretty. A girl who is not interested in makeup is considered a tomboy and less girly. To apply makeup or wear jewelry should be one’s personal choice. Just because you are a girl doesn’t mean you always have to look pretty.

11. Kapde/Chunni/Pallu theek karo!

Everyone, including fathers, moms, and partners, uses this remark to ask a girl to be mindful of her attire instead of condemning a man’s perverted stare. A woman can never feel safe and feel free to wear whatever she wants unless her loved ones stand up for her instead of teaching her to cover herself up.

12. Saali matlab, aadhi gharwali

So, this implies you’re readily accepting the fact that the girl has to leave her sister and family to be a part of yours, but you can easily claim a member of her family to be your half-wife. Disrespectful isn’t it?

via GIPHY

13. Kanyadaan ke liye bulaiye

The expression kanyadaan kijiye literally means “giving away your daughter”. Furthermore, it is usually considered that only men, such as fathers, or, uncles or brothers, are permitted to perform this ceremony. While it has been disputed in the past, it merely adds to the inherent unfairness of a sexist practice.

14. Akeli ladki khuli tijori hoti hai

A single female is exactly that: she is single. But when patriarchy comes in, then a single woman is in danger, because she is an open treasure box. Seems ridiculous? Alone or not, women are not ‘treasure boxes’ we are just living human beings who want to live their lives on their own terms just as our male counterparts have the liberty to do.

15. Pati ko ghar-kharche ka hisaab do/Pati se ghar kharche ki liye paise lo

A woman has a right to be a homemaker if she so wishes and if that’s what makes her happy. She should not, however, be obliged to answer to her husband and justify how she controls the household. Financial reliance isn’t ideal, but it’s no excuse for asserting power over another woman, particularly your wife.

We need to remove such statements from our conversations as women are not objects or properties and they deserve to be treated with respect, irrespective of the relation they hold to you.