With changes in time and ways of living, there has been a lot of change in the role of men and women in a family. However, there are still some instances or incidents that bring out the patriarchal nature of our society. For ages, women have been taught to sacrifice their needs to satisfy or fulfill the needs of other members of the family. The upbringing of women in most Indian households still follows that wives should always prioritize the needs of their husbands before their own.
Women often sacrifice their time, sleep, and even food to take care of the male members of the family, especially their husbands. For example, often a woman is found serving food to her husband and other members of the family while she waits for them to finish. This way sometimes the woman eats less or late than the others which is harmful to her health. A woman who does these things is considered an ‘ideal Indian wife’ in our society. These sacrifices are taken as normal in the name of ‘love’.
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Recently, a viral video surfaced where a husband and wife are having a meal together and the wife is sacrificing her portion of food to serve her husband
The video shows the couple having food together, where the husband is engrossed in his phone and asks his wife to serve him more rice without even checking if there is anything left to serve him. When the wife opens the casserole, she sees that there is no more rice left. The video proceeds with the wife taking half the rice from her plate, putting it inside the casserole, and serving it to her husband.
On the other hand, the husband doesn’t even witness that and continues with his phone scrolling. The message in the video says:
Only Indian wife’s can do this
What triggered the viewers is that the husband is fully capable of taking his own food that is right in front of him. Secondly, the manner in which he asks his wife by just signaling with his fingers is an inappropriate gesture. He could have looked at her and asked her politely. Even when his wife gives him her portion of rice from her plate, the husband pays no heed and the wife ends up eating less.
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Is this normal or anyway romantic? We don’t think so and so do many netizens who have voiced their opinions and anger towards this toxic video circulated in the name of sacrifice and love.
Here is the video that is being widely circulated online
देखें औरत घर कैसे संभालती है❤️ pic.twitter.com/mWzMI27QMr
— Logically Correct ! (@RajivKalra18) July 29, 2023
Numerous people have called out this video for promoting and portraying the sacrificing woman as the ideal Indian wife.
Have a look at some of the responses
When will the reverse happen? When will “Indian men” realise that they are not children who need to be given unconditional love for bare minimum things. Auratein toh humesha se sacrifice kar hi rhin hain. https://t.co/3ax8PAVndJ
— Socialist (@not_centre) July 29, 2023
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why stop here. why not chew his food for him also, since he appears incapable of doing the bare minimum https://t.co/q81GktjL6H
— Priya (@priya_ebooks) July 30, 2023
No. No. No. Sister always eat your share. You don’t need to stay hungry. Give him something else. Or cook more. Or cook again.
He isn’t even noticing it.
Tum apna khana khaao. He is an adult man. Woh apna dekh lega..
Eat and sleep well, sister. https://t.co/mkdrnEb3CL— Paromita Bardoloi (@Paromitabardolo) July 29, 2023
Imagine feeding your so called “man” right off your plate and he chooses to not even acknowledge the gesture or take his eyes off his phone all the while almost ordering you to feed him. Nah fam. Electric chair. https://t.co/5sLdscpgII
— no. (@thisisajokeokay) July 30, 2023
Adding onto this, throughout my childhood, my mom used to cook based on what my dad likes & what I like. And she ended up having the same food. Never really made anything special for herself. When you actually think through all that moms do, its nothing short of a tragedy. https://t.co/ePRmV3qJnu
— TakeADeepBreath (@DeepTake) July 30, 2023
Romanticising this kind of shit is the reason why the number of malnourished women in this country is ever increasing. https://t.co/89rl53Tg1M
— Holier B Forker 🏳️🌈 (@forkingheck1) July 29, 2023
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Is this supposed to be a “cute” depiction cause this is absolutely horrifying and perfectly portrays the idea of Indian patriarchy. The man-baby isn’t even aware of his surroundings and is scrolling reels 😂 while the wife/mother has to sacrifice her food for him? https://t.co/GsnSZlUGlG
— Adithya (@adithya_ssh) July 30, 2023
How do we brainwash women so much that they end up smiling when their partners treat them with utter neglect and disrespect.
He should have been sprayed in the face with the kitchen faucet. https://t.co/cPPKqPpV8v
— pinkpaisley پنک پیسلی (@pinkpaisley3) July 30, 2023
The great indian male babies who never grow up. The cringe makers who made this have inadvertently captured the reality of indian patriarchy. https://t.co/E3Ios9jJKe
— Amit Pun-char-kar @[email protected] (@asuph) July 30, 2023
stop romanticising this bullshit, first of all cant he take his food on his own???? she’s not his maid. second, if he paid any attention he’d know she didn’t eat anything. this is your patriarchal version of love. stop propagating this rubbish https://t.co/0k7ZbvD8cu
— lemon (@lemonademelk) July 30, 2023
What’s actually normal is when both wife and husband should take care of each other’s needs and live like ‘partners’.
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