Here are some of the funniest tweets by Indian stand-up comedian, get the laugh riot by just reading what they had tweeted:
1.
I always thought “Vicco Turmeric, nahi cosmetic” was our national anthem which is why it played before every movie.
— Aditi (@awryaditi) November 30, 2016
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2.
Friend: bhai tera pet nikal raha hai.
Me: nahi bhai yeh mera #dangal look hai.
— zakir khan (@Zakirism) November 29, 2016
3.
Fawad Khan is good looking, sure. But so is every sumo driver from Kashmir, who looks just like him.
— Sonali Thakker (@SonaliThakker) August 30, 2016
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4.
When I say @priyankachopra‘s name in my head I now automatically pronounce it like “Priyaaaanka Chopruh”
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) July 27, 2016
5.
The best part about having a gym partner is that when two people miss gym, the guilt cancels out.
— Kenny Sebastian (@knowkenny) May 10, 2016
6.
In Bangalore, they even call a new born child a “Start Up”!
— Abish Mathew (@abishmathew) July 27, 2016
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7.
Indian matrimonial ad: Seeking strong independent career driven Indian woman to make Roti
— Sanjay Manaktala (@smanak) August 22, 2016
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8.
Who called it How I Met Your Mother and not Ted-Ex?
— Rohan (@mojorojo) August 31, 2016
9.
Friend : meri Gf mumbai rehti hai. Teri Gf kaha rehti hai?
Me : Bhai meri Gf toh naraz rehti hai 😉
— zakir khan (@Zakirism) May 4, 2016
10.
*doesn’t drop phone for 2 years*
*takes off phone cover for 5 seconds*
*phone falls off bed, rebounds out of window, gets hit by asteroid*
— Azeem Banatwalla (@TheBanat) July 3, 2016
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11.
I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life also didn’t choose me.
— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) January 19, 2017
12.
Sometimes you try to crank out all ice cubes from the tray and 3 of them hold hands and refuse to budge like “JAYENGE TOH SAB SAATH MEIN”
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) October 4, 2016
13.
*Going through my contact list*
Dad: Beta, yeh jo Tinder surname waale hai matlab woh kaunsi caste ke hote hai?
— Sonali Thakker (@SonaliThakker) March 26, 2016
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14.
Casting Ajay Devgn for the Vimal Pan masala ad is a masterstroke. After all he’s the only actor who looks like he could actually be using it
— Varun Thakur (@VarunmThakur) April 1, 2016
15.
Me at a high fashion event-
Journalist: So Kaneez who are you wearing?
Kaneez: Um, all my insecurities.— Kaneez Surka (@kaneezsurka) October 4, 2016
16.
I have only seen people underwhelmed or overwhelmed, never whelmed properly.
— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) May 7, 2016
17.
What is faster than light?
The speed at which Indians unbuckle the seat belt as soon as a plane lands!— Abish Mathew (@abishmathew) May 16, 2016
18.
Anybody else hate these boomerang vidvid boomerang these hate else Anybody else hate these boomerang vidvid boomerang these hate else Anybo
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) January 23, 2017
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19.
Till very late in life, I thought Discipline meant “Stand in line at one arm’s distance”.
— Abhishek Upmanyu (@AbhiUpmanyu) June 18, 2017
20.
What feminists say:’We want equality’
What meninists hear:’Valar Morghulis’
— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) July 22, 2016
21.
3 easy steps for success after you put in hardwork & dedication :
1) It’s not in your control
2) it’s not in your control
3) Inheritance.— Kenny Sebastian (@knowkenny) June 14, 2017
22.
Don’t worry about your board results, twenty years down the line nobody will care about it.
Except Kejriwal.
— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) May 21, 2016
23.
Girl: Have you ever cheated on a woman you love?
Me: Well I had rajma at my buas house when my mom had made dinner.
— Sanjay Manaktala (@smanak) December 6, 2016
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24.
Nothing in this world is more fought over than how quickly you’ve started the “tik tik 1, tik tik 2…” in a game of Antakshari.
— Abish Mathew (@abishmathew) January 31, 2016
25.
I know it’s 10 years too late but here. pic.twitter.com/hJ2h8eMJ7H
— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) May 12, 2016
26.
Punjabi- We have this great song!
Rest of India- We don’t care.
Bollywood- We will put it in a movie.
Rest of India- OMG! Best song ever!!— Angad Singh Ranyal (@PiratedSardar) March 25, 2016
27.
Priyanka Chopra shows up for a second in the Baywatch trailer.
Indian media: “OMG LOOK AT PC CONQUERING HOLLYWOOD! MOVE OVER ANGELINA!”— Sapan Verma (@sapanv) December 9, 2016
