Love is a complicated, multifaceted feeling that may be felt and expressed in a number of different ways. Love is frequently depicted as the most pure and unselfish of feelings. However, in reality, the majority of people’s understanding of love is seriously flawed and even dangerous.
The concepts of love, especially in the context of family, are occasionally unjust and problematic. They can have detrimental effects on people and their loved ones.
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Even if we take a look back at our cinema, we can easily see where we are headed. We always expect our own family members to be selfless, despite the fact that we claim to love them unconditionally.
The expectations placed on mothers are perhaps one of the most blatant examples of society’s perverted notions of love. Even when her health is failing, she is frequently expected to put the needs of her family before her own. This expectation may cause moms to ignore their physical and mental health, which may have long-term effects on their health and the health and well-being of their families.
A tweet from a young lady serves as a good illustration of this
In her tweet, a woman described how her aunt, who was scheduled to have breast cancer surgery the next day, spent the entire day preparing meals for her family so they would have plenty to eat while she recovered. She wrote,
My khala is getting operated for breast cancer tomorrow & she has spent the whole day cooking dishes so her family has something to eat till she recovers in the next few days. Sounds very dystopian but this is what’s expected of women here & they don’t even object.
My khala is getting operated for breast cancer tomorrow & she has spent the whole day cooking dishes so her family has something to eat till she recovers in the next few days. Sounds very dystopian but this is what’s expected of women here & they don’t even object.
— AlishBish (@alishbabrar) January 11, 2022
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After the tweet gained traction, it elicited two distinct sorts of responses from internet users
One group of users thought that whatever she did was because she loved her family.
Again, u r failing to see the woman’s love n care for her family. She might have peace of mind that things r taken care of. Sometimes its genuinely someone’s care n not force. If its expected from her, then it’s unethical and wrong. If she is doing out of love, family must help.
— MS (@_messy_boy) January 11, 2022
What if she’s feeling sad and don’t know what will happen next, and wanted to cook for her family with love. 🙁
Been through similar kind of this situation so saying this.
There could be anything.— jaunbin (@abayyaaaar) January 11, 2022
Sometimes it’s their love, devotion, sense of duty, care, motherly nature too. Yes, some families might expect, but most won’t.
My mother behaves the same way even though she knows I enjoy cooking, but if she is visiting her siblings, she’ll cook few days worth of food…— MS (@_messy_boy) January 11, 2022
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See this is the real problem with this generation and generation of ur khala.What she did was out of love she has for her children’s and what you are doing is showing her love and affection as torcher by her family member.Btw if u get time from dis drama pray for her health👍🏻
— abhishek agrawal (@agrawalabhishe2) January 11, 2022
On the other hand, other people pointed out that it was inappropriate to burden women with household chores in the guise of ‘love’ or ‘care’, particularly when they are sick and require rest.
We should not romanticed this ever, being over burdened and over worked in the name of love should be discouraged.
— Mahnoor Qureshi (@Mahnurqureshi) January 11, 2022
Having to tend to domestic chores while recovering from breast cancer is not love.
Any family that expects and celebrates this is not practicing love,but abuse.
You speak as if women here aren’t killed for not heating food.
Stop sweeping everything under the rug,sweetheart. pic.twitter.com/kw4nJ4ZQBh— toofani-badtameezi (@thesedcat) January 11, 2022
Like it or not, women in our patriarchal society are adapted to fulfill a role of a comfort provider very much happily. Having said that, women willingly or unwillingly ‘expect’ the family, especially male members to remain in need of her for different reasons.
— Starving Soul (@nothingness_meh) January 11, 2022
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I did not allowed my wife to enter kitchen for whole 2 years after she was diagnosed with late stage 3 breast cancer. She had 3 surgeries, chemo & radiation. While taking care of her I became a master chef in my own rights.
— Saifee (@EkFakeeri) January 12, 2022
They’re brainwashed into thinking that theres nth wrong with this. Even if you tell them how fundamentally disturbed it is, they’d deny that. Unfortunately, thats how brown women are raised; in an inherent patriarchal manner.
— Ariha Fatimah Arain (@arihafatimah) January 11, 2022
Women are being moulded by society into caregivers through sustained propoganda
Little has changed despite all Advancement’s— 👣 (@renishdr) January 12, 2022
The widely shared post and the responses it sparked demonstrate how complicated the topic of family expectations for women is. Women’s household responsibilities may be seen as an expression of love by some. However, it’s vital to understand that romanticizing this behavior can reinforce negative gender stereotypes.
It’s crucial to challenge the societal and cultural expectations that place home responsibilities before one’s personal health and well-being. Without first establishing true gender equality, we cannot create a society that values and respects everyone.
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